The most important cleaning you can do

It’s Spring again…the traditional time for clearing, cleaning, reorganizing. You know, it’s the season where transformations of the best kind take place. Crisp, sunny days, birds nesting, the beauty of Spring flowers…a rebirth in nature.

photo of spring flowers

Spring Flowers at Mosque in Oman

Spring is usually when we get in the mood for clearing clutter and freshening our homes. Often, though, we give little thought to clearing the most important clutter of all..the thoughts and relationships that no longer serve us or bog us down.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could start with a clean slate by discarding what might be robbing us of our happiness and wouldn’t it feel good to clean up all the emotional clutter that’s been carried around for years? I always picture mind clutter as dead weight dragging me down, keeping me from feeling the ultimate freedom of pure joy.

Strange how we can discard physical items we no longer need but when it comes to giving up the stories we’ve created around childhood hurts (real or imagined), betrayal from a spouse or sibling, the dressing down from a teacher, a back-stabbing co-worker, we hang on to our hurts and anger like treasures we’re afraid to lose. Why is that?

I’ve observed that it’s partly habitual thinking…part of our identity. Without our stories, we could lose who we are even if we’re not happy with who we are. At this stage in life, maybe we’re wise enough to have discarded a lot of those stories yet, sadly, some continue to haunt us.

Could these be some of the life lessons that will give us the biggest learning?

In my younger years, I was quick to judge and be the self-appointed critic with remarks often disguised as wit and humor. Some of these remarks still haunt me as I think back on the people hurt by my eagerness to appear witty, especially those I’ll never see again. If I could reach them, I would ask for their forgiveness but since they’re gone from my life, I’ve worked hard to forgive myself and to work on my patience and judgment. The person I find hardest to forgive is me.

I believe that the act of forgiveness is heroic. I also believe that we have many opportunities to be the heroes in our own lives because clearing mind clutter is an ongoing process, much like the closets we clean out seasonally.

Hard though it may be, if there’s someone who needs your forgiveness, take the first step and connect with them. You’ll feel less clutter in your head and that clutter may even be replaced by a feeling of elation. This is true whether you’re forgiving yourself or someone else.

 

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Celebrating Women

Today is International Women’s Day. It’s a day to honor women and the amazing creatures we are.  It’s also a day of inspiration and a time to thank those women who have made it possible for today’s women to be who she is meant to be.

Here are three of my favorite women who have made a difference in women’s lives. Anthony for her fight to secure women’s vote, Roosevelt who fought for civil rights, and Keller who became an inspiration for people with a handicap. Each one had a special gift to give, was passionate about it and set out to reach her dreams in service to others. Here are some of my favorite quotes from them:

____________________

“The older I get, the greater power I seem to have to help the world; I am like a snowball-the further I am rolled,The more I gain.”  

Susan B. Anthony Talks to Voters from the Grave

Susan B. Anthony Talks to Voters from the Grave (Photo credit: Occupy* Posters)

 Susan B. Anthony

 A courageous woman and Women’s Rights leader, Anthony played a pivotal role in the 19th century women’s rights movement to introduce women’s suffrage into the United States. We have her and the women who joined her to thank for the privilege we have to vote. Could we be like the snowball?

Eleanor Roosevelt: political activist, First L...

Eleanor Roosevelt: (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“The future belongs to those who believe in the

Beauty of their dreams.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

The First Lady of the United States from 1933 to 1945, Eleanor Rossevelt assumed a role as an advocate for civil rights. We owe her thanks for advancing the Civil Rights Movement. How beautiful are our dreams?

 

 The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched …

 They must be felt in the heart” 

Helen Adams Keller

Helen Keller

Helen Keller (Photo credit: Arabani)

American author, political activist and lecturer, Keller was the first deaf and blind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree.

We can thank her for showing us that handicapped people are as capable and brilliant as those of us who have not been afflicted with such obstacles. What obstacles are we facing? What beauty is in our souls?

_____________________________

As you read through this article, you can ask yourself, “What gift do I have to give the world?” Start with your special talent, your passion, your love of something. It could be photography, art, music, a love of nature, a memoir, or simply the joy of laughter. Share your love, talents, passions to honor all the women you know and love (and even this article if it moves you).

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10 tips to help you lose weight

Still working on those ten/twenty pounds? What if we could change a few habits and lose 10-20 pounds without having to “diet.” The truth is that as we get older, it’s harder to lose and maintain a healthy weight and dropping a lot of weight too quickly will send you back on a yo-yo trip. Going slowly by changing habits that don’t serve you will take more effort but the effects will be long-lasting.

picture of vegetables

At the local Farmer’s Market

Here are some guidelines or reminders to help you on your way to looking and feeling sensational:

  1. Eat when ONLY you’re hungry.
  2. Food is fuel, not therapy or a drug. Don’t use food as a drug or as a way to comfort yourself or to beat yourself up.
  3. Watch serving sizes and read the ingredients on prepared food.
  4. Eat what your body wants, not what your mind or emotions want. Your mind can rationalize reasons to have something that doesn’t serve you well. Pay attention to your body. It will tell you the truth. 
  5.  Eat slowly and until you’re satisfied and no more.
  6. Snacks are snacks, not meals!
  7. Eat what’s good for your body not what old habits lead you to.
  8. If you can shop at a Farmer’s Market, take advantage of the fresh fruits and veggies that are in season.
  9. Eat with enjoyment, attention and pleasure. If you take the pleasure away what’s the point?
  10. Experiment and have fun with different fruits and vegetables in main dishes, salads, soups and desserts.

Start today and you’ll be on the road to a healthier, more fabulous you!

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Happy Thanksgiving and a couple of easy recipes

Happy Thanksgiving!

Photo of Thanksgiving Birthday Cake

A memorable Thanksgiving birthday cake

 

About every five years my birthday falls on Thanksgiving so my birthday candles have appeared in pies, puddings, seldom in a birthday cake. This year, I’ve decided to combine the cake and pumpkin pie. It’s from Paula Dean’s recipe for “Gooey Pumpkin Squares.”

When I read about the different menus and ideas, I find that the most debated item on the Thanksgiving table is the stuffing. In or out of the turkey? Sausage or no sausage? Giblets or raisins or nuts? Everyone seems to favor one kind or another. My mom put chili and raisins in hers. It was not my favorite. You can download My Favorite Stuffing for Turkey if you prefer a lighter stuffing with mostly vegetables you probably already have.

Preparing the Thanksgiving meal is a big deal and everyone has their favorite way to celebrate. For some it’s about the turkey, for some it’s about the pies and for many, it’s about the football games.

Regardless of the bounty on the table for many of us, Thanksgiving really is about setting aside a day for being with friends and family or finding ways to serve those who need help.

I’m grateful for the support of family and friends and especially for you, dear reader. May your day be full of appreciation and blessings in abundance.

 

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When inspiration comes from perspiration

Lately I’ve had writer’s block and haven’t posted an article for a while. When I hit a dry spell I look around for writing prompts or turn to my journal and stare at it for a while before I close it. Then I look for the next way to escape from “doing the thing” I promised myself I would do.

Do you ever have those moments? Hours? Days?

photo of crumpled papers

Maybe the next draft will do it…

Sometimes when I want to try something different I’ll write a Nonet. This is a newer type of poetry where you start with nine syllables, the next line has eight, then seven and on down to one syllable. It’s fun and I discovered that it’s like a puzzle that’s not impossible for non-poets like myself. Here’s one I wrote:

Blogging

My mind is like a desert wasteland

Nothing to say a lot to do

Why waste another’s time too

With words that don’t inspire

Or lighten the heart

That don’t sparkle

How I do

Stay in

Touch?

Strange how just struggling over the challenge of putting words into an unfamiliar form or doing something I’ve been putting off can change my energy. Call it perspiration for inspiration or butt in gear. Of course this works with most things that keep us stuck, be it exercise, diet, relationships, etc. We can get stuck just on decisions we’re trying to make.

If you’re feeling stuck on something, why not try something new or something you’re not comfortable with? Explore the discomfort and see what comes up for you.

In my Nonet I found that if I don’t have anything to say or write about, I don’t want to waste anyone’s time. I can also see that it’s important to me that I help “lighen the heart.”

If you’re stuck on something, may I help you lighten your heart? If so, I’d love to work through that with you.

Just contact me (doloreshagen@gmail.com) and  I’ll be happy to gift you with a half-hour coaching consultation.

 

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Why a Client Nearly Lost Her Pants

I was thrilled when a client told me she had put on a pair of pants she hadn’t worn for a couple of months and as she walked out the door, she noticed they were very loose. She took a few steps and they dropped about four inches and she had to quickly pull them up.

Why was I thrilled? Because she wants to improve her health and has been working very hard to lose weight. This story told me that the results are truly beginning to show…BIG time!

How has she done this?

Mainly by being aware of and slowly changing her eating habits.

I don’t believe that diets work because most weight-loss diets are too restrictive. Given this belief, we used a different to approach the problem; that is, we worked on changing beliefs, ideas and habits that result in unhealthy eating and an unhealthy body.

What I know to be true is that losing weight gained over a long time can’t be fixed in a few weeks! Yet I see women who don’t have the patience to stick with a program, especially when they have a few setbacks (and there WILL be setbacks) revert to fast fixes, a sure path to a downhill slide and even more weight gain.

Other dangerous times are when we hit that dreaded plateau and the scale doesn’t move. We can feel we’ve failed, the process isn’t working, and many simply give up.

If you’re thinking of losing a few or a lot of weight, here are some questions to ask yourself before starting a steady, lasting, weight-loss program.

  1. Why do I want to lose weight?
  2. What will losing that extra weight do for me?
  3. What will not losing the excess pounds do for me?

The most important of these questions is the “why.” If you want to lose weight and don’t know the “why,” then a commitment to the process will be fleeting and possibly a failure. This is the key to overcoming setbacks including the patience to work through the plateau.

With Halloween and the holiday season coming up, this is the time to decide how you want to look and feel during and after the holidays. Perhaps this is a good time to decide how you want to be at the start of the year. Remember, it starts with those little Halloween treats that look so tiny they couldn’t possibly harm you…you know the tempting little “bite size” Snickers, Milky Way and Baby Ruth kind.

Final thought: Love yourself no matter what your weight is. Love your body. It’s the only one you have.

How have you handled the holiday eating whirlwind? I’d love to hear from you.

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Even smart people can get scammed

There seems to be a proliferation of scam calls, many of which we’ve been warned about before. The scammers have become so sophisticated, however, that even smart people can fall into their carefully laid-out traps. Here’s a story about what happened to a friend this week who, though embarrassed about having been the victim, wanted others to know the details and who hopefully will not fall prey to a similar situation.

My friend received a call from “his nephew” who asked if his “favorite” uncle would help him out. The story went like this: Said nephew was having marital troubles, stopped at a bar to have a drink, decided to spend the night with a friend, came across a road block, his alcohol level was a bit over the legal limit and he was now in jail…a horrible jail….where he did not want to spend another minute.

According to the nephew, bail was set at $1,800.50 and the court wouldn’t take a check or credit card to pay the fine. He didn’t want my friend to call his dad (my friend’s brother) because he didn’t want them to know about his marriage being somewhat rocky.

My friend was asked to have a Moneygram transfer to a local drug store where his attorney could pick up the check and pay his fine. And, oh yes, it had to be done before 2:00 p.m. Pacific time because the court closes at 5:00 p.m. Eastern time. When he had completed the transaction, he was to call an 800 number, dial a certain extension, and give the Moneygram confirmation number to the “attorney.”

The number was an 800 number that answered via answering machine, “County Court’s Office.” When he dialed the extension, a woman who said she was the nephew’s attorney took the confirmation number and said, “He can make two calls and the second call will be to you to let you know he’s been bailed out.” Of course that never happened.

In retrospect, he says he could have done a few things differently, like think with his head, not his generous heart.

Any one of us can be emotionally triggered when a family member or dear friend is in trouble, and this is what these scammers prey upon. Unfortunately, it works a lot of the time, especially when something is as well planned out as this was.

Think about it. Anyone can get an 800 number and put whatever message they want on it.  Moneygrams require cash payments and you’re given a confirmation number so that it can be picked up anywhere there’s a Moneygram facility.

The scary part is that the scammers seemed to know something about my friend’s family; i.e., nephew’s name, that he was recently wed, that his father and my friend were brothers. Since he doesn’t take part in social media, they had to get the information somewhere and that part remains a mystery.

Speaking of scams, here’s one more that surprised me. I’ve recently received many calls, some political and many “out of area” calls. One number I looked up by area code was from Costa Rica. Another one was from Washington. Out of curiosity I called that number and the immediate answering machine said, “Please enter your ‘do not call’ numbers.” I didn’t but looked up the correct number for that service. What I found surprised me. Take a look here. https://www.donotcall.gov/

Some final word of caution:

  1. Don’t send money to anyone you don’t know. That includes calls that say your son, mother, daughter has been in an accident, is in jail, or anyone who promises you riches being held for you if you only send them money so it can be released.
  2. Be careful about giving personal information to strangers, to workers who are repairing your home, garden or car.
  3. Do not give your Social Security number to anyone who calls you to “verify” any of your accounts.
  4. Check everything out, including promises of mortgage loans at a low cost, quick loans of any kind and “out of area” calls.
  5. Always review your checking account, bank statements and especially credit card statements.
  6. Call your bank or credit card number immediately if you find charges you don’t understand.
  7. Report fraud to police department. Many scams are not reported because of embarrassed victims.

For more information, here’s the consumer affairs website for you to check out.

 

 

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Is where you live healthy for your skin?

Our skin is the biggest organ we have and deserves the best of care. Perhaps where we live can make a difference in how quickly our skin ages. I’ve noticed that in the different countries I’ve visited there is definitely a difference in the texture and health of skin.

Nature’s brilliance in providing the amount of melanin natives of different countries are born with has always been a source of awe for me. Seems that the closer to the Equator we live, the more melanin people are born with as a source of skin protection against the intense rays of the sun.

Photo of baby with sunglasses

Don’t forget your sunglasses and your hat!

It’s a bit different in the U. S., however, given that we are a ”multi-race” country where there is a high rate of inter-racial marriage. Here, more than anywhere else, I believe, you can see beautiful combinations of skin in color and texture. Unlike some of the world where the population is mainly single race, we in the U. S. have different facets of beauty with the many inter-racial mixtures we are blessed to have.

In researching the latest findings in skin care and anti-aging products, I came across an interesting study conducted by Daily Glow and their just-published, “55 Best and Worst Cities for your Skin.” This was published on the heels of Skin Cancer Awareness month. It’s interesting and well worth the time to explore the regions. It’s the first one I’ve seen that lists the best and worst cities as well as the reason whey they were picked.

No matter where you live, however, the best defense is still a good offense. This means wearing sunscreen EVERY day, using a moisturizer on clean skin at night, staying hydrated, and getting plenty of sleep…even if the city you live in is the best. If it’s on the “worst” list, you can take extra precautions such as establishing a disciplined approach to skin care, especially once you know what the dangers are.

One more thing…get a skin cancer checkup at least once a year or if you notice anything suspicious looking such as a skin growth that doesn’t heal or is growing. One of my friends started out with a tiny growth (like a pimple) on the side of his nose, had it removed, and it grew back again at a faster rate. This resulted in surgery to remove cancerous cells. Not a fun thing to experience but better that it was caught early enough.

The best anti-aging formula for your skin is good care. There really is no one cream or formula that will have you bathing in the fountain of youth, although many do stave off the deep wrinkles and brighten your skin.

When all is said and done, your skin is an amazing organ that protects you. It deserves to be protected as well.

 

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Urban Legends

The rumor mill is exploding! Of course it is, given the growth of the internet and an election year to boot!

A helpful (true) email is the most recent one about a malware virus possibly infecting your computer starting July 9. By now you’ve probably received this from someone in your email list. Even if I trust the sender, I always check it out for myself. This one is true but may not affect your computer. Being that it was sent to me by two people I trust, I decided tto see if it was true. I went to Snopes.com a site that makes it easy to check out whether warnings and urban legends are true or false. Here’s the direct link (including the response from the FBI regarding the malware and why July 9 is the date in the warning.  http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/dnschanger.asp

An example of a warning pamphlet/poster associ...

An example of a warning pamphlet/poster associated with the Mickey Mouse acid urban myth. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes funny and sometimes annoying, are the emails that say that money will “flow” to you if you forward it or something wonderful will happen when you send it to at least 20 friends. Others threaten dire consequences if it isn’t sent immediately. If there’s something that touches my heart, I’m willing to pass it on but only to people I think would appreciate it. As for chain letters, I don’t participate and usually delete them.

The Annenberg Public Policy Center has, among its many discussions, a site that discusses chain letters, political rumors and other rumors. Here’s the direct  link to the chain letter discussion. This site is also an eye-opening place to explore.

Other rumors:
Right now, we’re inundated with political ads on television, social media and postal mail. How many are created by agencies or the media in order to spread a rumor for political gain? I wonder about that and worry about the popular trend of destroying a reputation as a way to make sensational headlines.
Tempting though some are to believe, especially for diehard party voters, checking for the truth can be very useful in that it’s easier to make informed decisions about who we want in office.

Want to check out how political ads are manipulated on both sides? Check out these short series of videos  at Flackcheck in the “Patterns of Deception” menu. Flackcheck is an initiative of the Annenberg Foundation, by the way. Interesting stuff!

Sorry about the late computer virus warning, but I just now heard about it.

One last tip: If you receive or are compelled to send a warning, such as the computer virus warning, PLEASE include the link to the source. If it’s an important warning, it’s hard to believe something that can’t be verified.

Good luck!

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Ready to jump over the Equator?

Equator

We lived on the “right” side of the railroad tracks and on the “right” side of the bridge.

According to Mom, the people on the “other” side of the tracks were trashy and we didn’t want to associate with them. The people on the “other” side of the bridge were hoodlums and would beat us up!

The town had, and still has, about 14,000 people, yet in my growing up years the bridge divided the town into two: New Town and Old Town, each with their own mayor, police and fire departments, schools and churches. The town is now one: East and West Las Vegas, NM.

English: National Avenue in Downtown Las Vegas...

English: National Avenue in Downtown Las Vegas, New Mexico (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Being the obedient, perhaps somewhat restricted children, we followed the rules and stayed within our own boundaries. The mysterious north and south of the town were never addressed because it was mainly empty plains, too far to walk to, and the start of extensive grasslands.

The mystery of what lay on the outer edges of town was a great tool for the older of my two brothers who threatened to take my youngest brother out of town (pointing north) and throw him over the Equator.  Being thrown over the Equator meant fire, maybe hell, and certainly death! While this is humorous now, it’s the perfect example of the restrictions we put on ourselves because we believe what someone else has told us.

Imagine the relief of my youngest brother when he found out that the Equator is south, and our secret excitement when we discovered that best ice cream cones with the biggest scoops were a nickel at the drugstore just on the other side of the bridge and no one attacked us!

In retrospect, I realize that the boundaries Mom set were the equivalent of today’s GPS trackers for children. It was a way to make sure that all five of us stayed within a certain area of the town where we could easily be found if needed. It makes me wonder, however if childhood restraints and stories of the mysterious unknown remain with us and if the unconscious holds us back because it wants to keep us safe? Could that be what holds us back from stepping into those unknown realms and risking possible confrontation with the monsters of failure? Lest I sound sophomoric, studies (two of which are links below) show that fear and risk-avoidance are nurtured early in our lives.

The boundaries we set for ourselves can be protective or restrictive. Protective boundaries can keep us from becoming overwhelmed, being taken advantage of. On the other hand boundaries set by fear can keep us from manifesting our dreams, reaching for a higher goal and being who we were meant to be.

Failure can look like we’ll be thrown to the other side of the equator and we’ll never survive the fire of shame. The truth is that if we do throw ourselves over the equator, we’ll find that there’s only a different part of the world, brighter and sunnier than we might ever have imagined.

Ready to jump over the equator? If we do, we can break the chains of fear that keep us stuck in the unknown wastelands of boredom.

Join me in doing or learning something new and challenging.

What are you doing? I’d love to know what challenges you’re set to conquer.

 Childhood/Adult Fears

Early Life Programming

 

 

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