A Call to Fearlessness: Discover Your Leadership Voice..

October 5, 2011 By Leave a Comment

I haven’t forgotten you. I think about you more often than you would believe.

I’ve been working on a very special event that will take place in Oakland, CA on October 22, 2011. We will host Margaret Wheatley, author, speaker, thinker, in an exciting one-day event. Joining us will be community leaders, human resource managers and coaches…maybe you?

photo of Margaret Wheatley

Margaret Wheatley

In preparation for what to expect from this dynamic speaker, I picked up two of Margaret (Meg) Wheatley’s books, Walk Out Walk On, co-authored by Deborah Frieze, and Perseverance.

Walk Out Walk On takes us on a journey with people who have decided to walk out of one way of living and walk on to a life with a greater purpose. Perseverance is one of those small books you can dip in and out of when you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed. I find it to be a positive way to start the day with an inspirational or fresh insight before life gets in the way of all I have planned for the day..

Meg has written six books, including Leadership and the New Science. This last book was on loan to me by a friend who told me it was required reading during her doctoral program. As I read the book, I came to understand why it was required reading. Her views and examples of leadership in communities shows her as one of the most paradigm-changing, thought-provoking leaders of our time.

Picture of McAfee singing

Barbara McAfee

Barbara McAfee, who will accompany Meg, is an organizational singer, musician and voice coach. She contributes an element of fun and high energy as she brings home Meg’s messages through song and voice. She was recently  interviewed about what she does on a webcast. In a highly interactive call, she gave us “voice lessons” as she demonstrates the different voices people can use to communicate more effectively.

After hearing her on the call, I can understand why she also is in great demand at conventions and other large events.

To request a link to her free webcast, go here and scroll down to about the middle of the page to the “request a link” button. To learn more about the event, go to this link which will take you to the details. On the website, you can explore the opportunities available for the event.

If you can’t attend in person, a simulcast you can watch in the comfort of your own home is available that day and for four weeks following the event.

Will you be there? If you are, make sure you tap me on the shoulder and let me know you’re Sixty and Sensational!

Use this special code and receive a 10% discount: SIXTYTEN

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Seniors and Politics:

September 7, 2011 By 1 Comment

If you’ve been watching the news and observing the posturing and rhetoric of our political parties, you may have felt dismayed, disgusted, frustrated or perhaps fearful. I have felt all those things along with helplessness. The stubborn beliefs, true and false accusations and opinions from self-appointed “experts” have left me confused about what purpose is being served.

Seems that every time there is an election on the horizon, deficit spending (the big culprit) is given a new definition (depending on which party is in power, of course) and there is an immediate attack on Social Security and Medicare Benefits. Talking on both sides of the mouth is the common form of debate. An example is how dirty the word “entitlement” has become. Ironically, it’s used only for Social Security, Medicare and unemployment benefits. Never mind that many of us have paid into Social Security for years, employers have paid for unemployment benefits, are  taxed on these “entitlements,” and recipients still pay taxes on benefits they’ve already paid for.

So what do we call the pensions to which lawmakers and politicians are “entitled?” Would they be willing to cut their entitlements? After all, their pensions and tax breaks are also entitlements. So far there is no evidence that any of them would give up their benefits. Why is this glossed over?

Robbing senior citizens of income they depend on could result in a sad, growing majority population of homeless senior citizens, the very population that has supported these politicians. This is also the most unemployable population. Because it’s a growing population there are quick accusations of how these seniors will rob future generations of their “entitlements.” No matter what seniors do, we seem to carry the brunt of the ills of the country. It’s ludicrous to what extent some politicians will go to be in the spotlight and comments, such as Rick Perry’s “Social Security is a Ponzi scheme,” will (sadly) appeal to a few misguided youth.

It would be nothing short of miraculous if these “leaders” actually spent more time doing something that would truly benefit our citizens. And miracle of miracles, what would happen if the person we’ve chosen to be our leader was actually supported rather than being fought at every turn? Obviously, people wanted change and now we’re back to fighting every change proposed, mainly for political gain.

So what can we do? Sophomoric though it may seem, I’d say to pay attention to what the many candidate say in the news, debates, ads, let go of preconceived political beliefs, and ask yourself:

“How will this really benefit our country?”

“How will will this benefit my family, my community, our children’s education and everyone else, including seniors?”

“Am I following political rhetoric or beliefs I picked up from parents, religious gurus, and other people who hold themselves as authorities, or is this truly what’s in my heart?”

I’m not an expert on politics and don’t even like writing about politics but these last few weeks have left me questioning my own beliefs.

 

 

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The Bombing in Norway

August 3, 2011 By 1 Comment
Memorial scene in Bergen Oslo

Memorial in Bergen

Hello Again!

Of all places one would never expect to hear about acts of terrorism, Norway would be at the bottom of the list.

Yet I was in the beautiful city of Bergen headed toward Oslo, Norway, when the bombing of a government building and massacre of 69 teens at a youth camp took place. One of their own citizens, a right-wing extremist, was responsible for this act of terrorism. For Norway, these acts of violence are unthinkable.

Actually, it was one of their own citizens, Anders Behring Breivika,a right-wing extremist who didn’t like how the government was being run and decided to make a statement against the labor party in the hopes of leading other extremists to start a revolution.

According to some of the news media, he copied the Oklahoma bomber’s recipe for making a bomb using fertilizer and other materials. Breivika is a farmer who had no trouble buying huge amounts of fertilizer from a local supplier. It seems he was a farmer with a double life – a respected citizen, and an underground political fanatic with terrorist tendencies.

Interesting that the first speculation was that it may have been an Islamic or Jihadist terrorist. In a way, it was a relief that he was caught so quickly and Norway was not being invaded by a foreign source. These assumptions as well as Breivika’s actions, make me think that extreme, fanatical beliefs can lead to violence and hate when they’re not tempered with reason.

Harmful beliefs are legion and people will follow extremists who bring promises of salvation, wealth, love, a better economy, etc. Beliefs such as being “saved” if you belong to a religious cult (remember Jim Jones?), that only people with certain beliefs serve God (suicide bombers, religious prejudice), and other persecution-type beliefs make no sense and, as we see over and over again, can cause immense damage.

I don’t know what we can do about this on a grand scale but we can certainly take small steps to create a more peaceful world. It would be wonderful if we, individually, could save the world, but that’s impossible. It can only start with each individual.

So today, would you join me in taking stock of some of the beliefs you hold that could be harmful either to others or to yourself? These could be political, religious, or self-esteem beliefs.

The litmus test for checking a belief: Does this belief exclude or would it harm people who don’t believe as I do? Maybe it’s time to take a close look at our own beliefs and question their validity.

By the way, I took the photo of the memorial which took place right outside the hotel where I was staying in Bergen. It happened the day after the tragedy and it was inspiring to see so many people gathering around the area, placing flowers and candles quietly and with great reverence.

 

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Summer Skin Care Tips

July 1, 2011 By 6 Comments


Picture of sunbathers at the beach

Baking in the Sun

Ready for some fun in the sun?

With the rain and cloudy skies this month, true summer hasn’t shown its sunny side yet. While walking by the water a couple of days ago, I realized that even though the sun isn’t showing its full force yet. it can still do some skin damage. I was glad that I routinely apply sunscreen the way I apply my moisturizer, all the time.

Here’s why. After years of ignoring the warnings, I noticed brown spots, bigger than freckles, slowly appearing on my face. They were more the size of almonds and I got concerned about what they were. A trip to the dermatologist who burned them off with liquid nitrogen made me get religion!. I had the mistaken belief that because I have olive skin, I wouldn’t have a problem with a lot of exposure to the sun. I also didn’t realize that sun damage to your skin is cumulative. The skin on my face still reflects the carelessness of my younger days.

Sad but true, as we get older our skin becomes dryer, more fragile, and is more easily burned in the sun. It’s still a shock to me how many women boast that they do nothing yet complain about or ignore the lines, spots and wrinkles that inevitably show up.

Now I’m a believer! The two best anti-aging skin care products are a good sunscreen and a daily moisturizer. If you simply make a habit of using sunscreen under your makeup, or even without makeup, you will go a long way to keep the sun from damaging your skin.

We sometimes take our skin for granted and forget that we have only one face and and our skin reflects the care we give it. After all, we want to look youthful for as long as possible. More than that, it’s a way help prevent skin cancer.

FIVE TIPS TO PROTECT YOUR SKIN FROM SUN DAMAGE

  1. Some makeup boasts sunscreen at 15, 20 or even 30. That’s not enough to protect your skin because ideally, makeup should be applied very lightly.
  2. Check the ingredients and AVOID: oxybenzone or vitamin A. Neither are healthy for your skin and could cause more damage.
  3. Don’t trust the SPF that’s too high (the number is length of minutes you can spend in the sun before reapplying) and make sure it has UVA protection. Regardless of the SPF, being in the direct sun for 70 minutes can still do harm to your skin.
  4. If you’re going to be in the direct sun, wear a hat that will give the biggest amount of shade possible.
  5. During the summer weather, if it’s hot and humid, you may not need a moisturizer as well as a sunscreen. Wearing both, unless your skin is extremely dry, can clog the pores on your skin.

Three listed below have no harmful ingredients as rated by EWG…the Environmental Working Group that researches chemicals in consumer products.  Their site is: http://www.ewg.org/

  1. Kiss My Face All-Natural Sun Sticks, SPF 30
  2. Tropical Sands All-Natural SPF 30
  3. Badger Sunscreen and Baby Sunscreen SPF 30+

Take a look at their website article that lists questionable or worst offenders. It has great information and ratings on the safety of chemicals used in products consumers buy.

___________________________

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Bored? 5 Ways To Leave The Bored Room

June 5, 2011 By Leave a Comment

When life becomes boring, what do you do? When a job or task becomes boring, what do you do?

Boredom, and its close cousin, comfort, can be debilitating.

Where does boredom come from?

Many places. Lack of sleep, lack of goals, and absence of challenges, loneliness, maybe even a poor diet! I believe that the absence of challenges in your life will quickly turn into boredom, loneliness and low energy. It can also take on the mantle of depression.

We spend a lot of energy trying to get to a “comfortable” place. What drives us is the search for comfort is part of the human condition. We work all our lives to get there. When we feel successful at overcoming obstacles to get to a level of comfort, we forget that it’s the search that keeps the juices flowing whether we succeed or fail.

I’m not talking about physical comfort, such as climbing into your own bed after a hard day. What I’m addressing here is that boredom that leaves you saying, “Is that all there is?” or that feeling of “I hate what I’m doing,” or “I don’t have the energy to do this.” It’s that listlessness that we see in teens when their chief occupation is watching TV or texting. There is no real connection to another except for the electronic relationship. Personal connection with others is so very important in keeping boredom at bay.

The cocoon

It’s easy to settle into a cozy cocoon and stay there. I find myself slipping into that spot quite often. It’s nice. It feels good. If I stay in there too long I find myself gaining weight, looking awful and not moving very much. The parts of my body that are already going south take a fast trip to the bottom. To quote Alan Caruba, who once created a media spoof called The Boring Institute,  “Boredom is your mind demanding to be “fed”, “stimulated”, fulfilled in the same way the body must be fed and for the same reason we explore different foods as opposed to eating the same thing every day.”

So if you’re bored or your life has become boring, here are some suggestions based on what has helped me, of course.

What to do

  • Create a master list of all the things you want to do to and tackle them one at a time. Idle time is greatly overrated.
  • Start something new. Have you wanted to learn a foreign language, or learn pottery, or do some other craft?
  • Join a group where people have similar interests to yours, such as book groups, writers groups, artists gatherings, etc. Take a leadership role or become truly eng
  • If you have those boxes of pictures you haven’t opened for years, start with one box and start getting rid of duplicates, people you no longer remember, and divide them up to send to friends or relatives who might want them. Another option is to have them scanned into CD’s for easier storage.
  • Use your creative juices to turn a favorite, not so healthy recipe, into a healthy one.

The most important thing about all of this is to put your own self into it. If I’m doing something because I think it will please people, I do what I think they want and I’m left out of the loop. But that’s another article, and one I’m qualified to write because I’m a people-pleaser in recovery.

Till next time…be sensational!

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What to do When Time Flies?

May 29, 2011 By Leave a Comment
A young patriot salutes heroes at the 2009 Nat...

Young child celebrates Memorial Day

Does time fly by for you? As a child, I couldn’t understand what adults meant by this. To me, time was an endless waiting game…for school to be out, for school to start, for Christmas, for Halloween, etc.

Now it seems that life literally whizzes by.

Was it only a few days ago that my twin grandsons were born? Now they’re almost 14.  I had almost given up hope of ever having grandchildren when they were born. Then two years ago I was thrilled to welcome twin granddaughters.

Even though I only see the babies every six weeks or so, I’ve watched them grow through personal visits and through my daughter-in-law’s generous use of Flip Videos, those amazing short videos that get sent through the Internet.

Watching their antics through the videos, I wish they’d never change. On the other hand, each new exploration and sign of growth is a delight.

Was it Barney Google who used to say, “Time’s a wastin’?” Even though “time” is just a marker of activities and change, we often do waste what we do with it. We all need times of quiet, contemplation and just being with ourselves. But time’s-a-wastin’ when we don’t move out of our contemplative state, memories of the past and possible dread of changes in the future.

So tomorrow we celebrate Memorial Day, designated as a time for reflection and remembering those who contributed so much to our country. Memorial Day also marks the end of one season and the beginning of another.

That means another summer, another graduation, and another celebration. We start planning vacations, attending graduations and changing our wardrobes from warm clothes to lighter summer wear.

What can you do to end the spring season with joy and move into summer with excitement and anticipation of what the next season will bring?

It’s not the big things that eat away at our energy. We plan for the big things. It’s the little things that nag at our energy and that keep us stuck. Here are some thoughts on little things that seem insignificant but will give you more “time” to enjoy the summer.

  • If you didn’t do your “Spring Cleaning,” start the summer with a declutter project.
  • Clean out sock and underwear drawers, clean and store sweaters, heavy coats and scarves.
  • Take an inventory of your makeup drawers and bins. Mascara, eyeliner and toothbrushes should be replaced every three months.
  • Create or look up new menus and take advantage of all the wonderful summer vegetables now coming into season, such as this recipe for chicken with spring vegetables from the Food Network.
  • Resolve to make this a healthy summer full of fun and appreciation for the life we have been given.

Yes, “time” really does fly. As changes take place, it’s a perfect opportunity to stop, reflect and be grateful, so take the day to honor the men and women who served our country as well as loved ones who contributed to our joy or who gave us life.

Then…get ready to enjoy your time this summer!

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Dressing for Leadership Interview

May 11, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Today I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Bea Fields about my upcoming program, Sensational You! Bea Fields is a top leadership coach, author, speaker and teacher, who works with high-level executive leaders in high growth companies, so I’m honored that she wanted to interview me.

She’s an insightful interviewer and it was fun to see and comment on the slides of some of the world’s most famous women and to discuss what statement each of their images projects.

To hear the interview and to see the slides, go here.  It’s in a Fuze Meeting platform, so open it, wait till it loads, sit back, watch, listen and enjoy.

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Do Anti-Aging Products Really Work?

May 9, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Have you noticed how many anti-aging products are on the market? Each “serum” or cream promises to restore youthful beauty. You’ve all heard those enticing commercials, “In only two weeks you’ll look 20 years younger…and “If you call today, you can have a free trial for only $19.95! and if you call immediately, we’ll double the offer.” What? Beauty and a Bargain? These ads are powerful and huge moneymakers.

Why? Because most women (and men too…but that’s a different story) want to retain the beauty they have enjoyed in younger days. Some products actually do provide quality; however, what to try is always the question, especially if you’re curious. They all tell us that we can drink from the fountain of youth (with shipping and handling, of course).

So, do anti-aging products really work? The answer is a big NO, if you want to look the way when you were 20 or 30. Some products do provide some comfort and probably some improvement in overall care…skin, hair, body, etc., and it may be what you want. A youthful appearance, however is in the energy and confidence you have in who you are.

I’ll admit I’ve ordered a few “bargains,” a couple of offers that I was really pleased with (and still order and would recommend) and a couple that I returned. If you really are intrigued with a product and you decide to order it, check out their return and cancellation policy, actual shipping charges and how to get product help.

The phrase, “anti-aging” is a strange phrase to me as it really tells you that aging is not a good thing. We will age and no matter what we do, we’ll still be as old as we are. How we think and what we do with our life as we age is what’s important to living a full, happy life.

In fact, that’s the reason I’ve created the Sensational You course, to show women around and over 60 that we can be fashionable, elegant and beautiful regardless of our age. We owe it to ourselves to feel and look great and to enjoy the age we are with beauty, charm and grace.

There will always be that everlasting admonition, “Don’t spend time on yourself. That’s selfish!”

Typically, most women spend very little time and money on themselves. As as result, that feeling of looking a bit dumpy or frumpy slowly creeps in and self-esteem and energy drop.

This is a prime time to celebrate that extra window of time that has been given to our generation. It can be a time to rejoice about the many choices we have and how much more easily we can get the information and training we want to take us to a more fulfilling level.

If you haven’t looked over the course outline for the Six-Week Sensational You course, why not do that now? This is the best time in your life to be all that you can be and to regain that confidence in yourself that you can only get when you know you look your best. Go here now or click on the Sensational You image on the right.

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Happy Mother’s Day

May 7, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Mother’s Day Thoughts…

Picture of pink carnation

Carnation - Official Mother's Day Flower

Mother’s Day had many false starts. In the U. S., Mother’s Day originally started after the Civil War by several women’s peace groups. The idea was to set aside a day to honor relationships in the family. The final declaration to make it a national day of honor, however, was by Anna Marie Jarvis, following the death of her mother Ann Jarvis on May 9, 1905.

As is true with many holidays, religious or otherwise, commerce immediately steps into the profit mode with sales of flowers ,candy, special brunches, and countless gifts. While I’m certainly not averse to (and absolutely welcome) receiving such gifts, the truth is that for me, the true Mother’s Day gift is time with family, even if it’s simply a phone call. It’s knowing that you’re cared about that is so uplifting.

One of my biggest pleasures in life was to surprise my mom with something special on Mother’s Day. She’s no longer around and I miss the idea of knowing her delight in any loving gesture or gift she received. The next best thing is to remember her by contacting my siblings, wish wives and sisters a happy Mother’s Day, and revisit memories of mom and laugh a lot as we remember her wicked sense of humor.

To put things in perspective, it’s the giver who benefits the most from giving. How often have any of us said, just as my mom did, “You shouldn’t have!” while the giver enjoys the feeling of, “Yes, I should have and I’m so happy I did it.”

I know that for women over 60, few of us have a mother who is living. Those of us who have children living close by will no doubt spend time with them. Whatever you do or whoever you’re with, on Sunday, I wish you a very happy day whether you celebrate with your children, your family, or your friends. If you find yourselves alone, find a few carnations and take them to a nursing home or to someone you know is lonely. Everyone either was or had a mother and it’s a beautiful day to acknowledge the gift of life.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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Five Tips on Turning Bad Hair Days Into Great Hair Days

May 3, 2011 By 2 Comments
Picture of cat with bad hair

A Bad Hair Day!

I often commute on BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) when going to San Francisco. For the 20 minute ride, I can’t help but people-watch, which I like to do anyway. The last time I took BART, there seemed to be an unusual amount of women in the car. As I looked around I saw a woman who looked so “with it.” As I looked more closely, I thought, “She has a great haircut that is really flattering not only to her face but to the rest of her persona.”

During that ride I counted only her as having a great hairstyle and wondered what is being taught in the thousands of beauty schools around the country. Having had my share of bad hair days, I can relate to the women are stuck in wondering what to do to create that crowning glory to which most of us are entitled.

Here are some thoughts about how to get a hairstyle you’ll feel good about. Much more about care, grooming and styling will be covered in the Sensational You course that starts on May 24th. In the meantime, here are some tips for you about hair care.

There are some things hairdressers do that tell me this is not the place I want to be.

Here are some of them:

  • Take you to the washbasin immediately
  • Have you sit and wait with wet hair while they finish the last customer
  • Dirty or wet towels around your neck
  • Talking to everyone around them without addressing your needs

Here’s what’s really important:

  • The hairdresser will see you before your hair is washed
  • Will ask you what would make a great haircut in your view for your lifestyle. Are you a swimmer, hiker, indoor person, do you attend formal events, etc.?
  • Will push your hair around your face so that you can see where fullness or length will flatter the shape of your face.
  • Will pay attention to the texture, color and type of hair you have…curly, straight, fine, etc.
  • Discuss color and highlights that will flatter your skintone

It’s a tall order but if you’re happy with the results and the experience, there’s no doubt you will become a repeat customer and will refer your friends to them.

So why don’t they get this? I think there’s too much focus on running a salon like a cash register or fast food restaurant. What they don’t recognize is that repeat customer and referrals will add to their bottom line for a much longer time.

The Sensational You course is starting to fill up, so don’t wait, reserve your spot today since attendance is limited.

 

 

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