Sensational Style and Confidence for The Over-Sixty Woman
Here’s a video of a woman over 60 who’s an inspiration and great example of courage and determination. I hope you will be as impressed as I am with Diana Nyad’s talk about her goal to swim from Cuba to Florida. It’s worth the 17 minutes of your time. Enjoy!
A new wardrobe of beautiful blossoms for a bare tree
Spring is here! Flowers are showing up, trees are blossoming with new growth. It’s time for us to join in the promise of beauty this season. In other words, it’s time to update the clothing in our closets!
The urge to purge seems to show up every spring. Perhaps it’s that inspiration to start fresh after the heavy winter season begins to fade. Maybe it’s because the beautiful blossoms, gentle rains that make everything sparkle when the sun shows up, compel us to follow nature’s calling to start anew.
When clearing clutter, many of us head for our closets, ready to store the heavy clothing and start looking at spring and summer clothing.
There are many ways to clean your closets and update your wardrobe. This year, how about trying something different? How about listening to what your clothing is telling
you? It will make a huge difference in how you decide what to keep and what no longer serves you. The labor is short-lived compared to the joyful feeling you get for the rest of the season. Here’s what to do.
Wardrobe tip: When you clear the clutter in your closet, you’ll make space for something that makes you feel significantly wonderful. Because that’s who you are, that’s what you should have. So when you buy something new, buy it only if it tells you, “This looks significantly wonderful on you!” Keep that as your new shopping motto.
Do you ever have that feeling of being invisible?
Yesterday I watched my twin grandsons play in a Lacrosse game. They’re getting to be young men and I know they won’t be around and easily accessible to me in a short time, so I try to be at their games and events.
As always after a game, they can’t wait to get something to eat and will descend on the designated after-game place to wolf down in one sitting what would last me for a week. I usually go along to where they hang out after the game and enjoy the noise, enthusiasm and camaraderie they have with their team.
I watch them and often get that feeling of invisibility that decends on me like the cloak in Harry Potter’s adventures. Surprisingly, it’s almost as much fun.
So why then do I attend their games when I can? The long and short of it is that they appreciate my being there. Sometimes they even thank me! The big benefit I receive is that even though I often feel invisible, I know that being invisible is perfectly OKAY. There are benefits to being invisible in certain circumstances. I get to observe their conversation, to enjoy their way of looking at the world and I get to create a memory for me and for them.
For example, during the energetic and LOUD talk about their games, I feel completely invisible. I can’t join in the conversation (I don’t understand the details of the game) and it would be easy to judge them as they brag about how many bruises they got in the game. Although the conversations with the young moms and dads are respectful, I know we don’t have much in common, so I mostly listen. Nevertheless, this time is precious and it will end too soon.
One thing I know for sure is that there are times when it’s good to be invisible and times when it’s not. In observing these young boys who are moving into manhood, I see them fighting for recognition or being visible. This will probably go on for a long, long time.
Perhaps we all fight for recognition. It’s part of being human and wanting to be acknowledged for who we are (or who we think we are). The need to be recognized no matter where we are, I believe, is what that’s what creates the feeling of being overlooked when we’re not noticed or acknowledged.
This may sound off the wall, but I’ve found that who we are most invisible to is ourselves. Being invisible to ourselves has its symptoms; for example:
One of my clients, a beautiful, brilliant, talented woman was so used to being in the spotlight that when circumstances caused the spotlight to shut down, she lost track of who she really is. After exploring who she really is, finding her core values and recognizing that where she is now is perfect for her, she is heading for a more rewarding phase of her life. Her need to be recognized because of her hard-won status has changed to fit another, more rewarding lifestyle.
The key here is that she first she had to become invisible in order to observe and nurture her true self. From that comes a quality visibility that serves her higher purpose.
I’ll have to admit that I’ve been guilty of creating my own invisible self. When I forget who I truly am, and it does come and go, I procrastinate, find many ways to distract myself from the task at hand and suffer from low self-esteem. The opposite is true.
Do you know who you truly are? How do you drop the cloak of invisibility, if you have one, and what do you do on the path to self-discovery?
I’d love to know.
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Did you watch the Academy Awards last night?
Because I’m a single woman I like to invite other single women for a night of snacks and fashion gossip. It’s a fun way to view the Oscar night fashions and ooooh and aaaah over their impossibly perfect figures mostly clad in almost painted-on gorgeous gowns. Mostly the gowns were beautifully simple with only a couple of them bordering on indecent exposure.
This was the first time, though, that I felt inspired at the richness and depth of the older actors who respect their craft and continue to perfect it. It gives me hope that as a society, we’ll someday get to the point where becoming older (and who isn’t!) is respected and admired as much as it is in other countries.
Best Actress Academy Award (Photo credit: cliff1066™)
Throughout the years, on and off, I have watched some great Oscar nights and quite a few disappointing ones. Last night, I thought, was one of the best but what moved me want to write about it was Christopher Plummer winning theBest Actor Award at age 82!
Just shows that doing what you love, continuing to learn, and taking a few risks is what makes for an award-winning life.
In my last article I wrote about all the things I noticed about aging as Meryl Streep played Margaret Thatcher in The Iron Lady. Whether or not you’re a Streep fan, there’s no doubt that she’s a sensational woman who takes on roles that expand her talents. The makeup that transformed Streep into the young Thatcher and old Thatcher, Oscar also went to her makeup artists, Mark Coulier and J. Roy Helland. Well deserved for the job they did. I also noted that many who received awards said it was a life dream come true.
The motivation to write this is also the question, “What can we do to make our own lives worthy of an Oscar?” Not necessarily aHollywood-type one, but a personal, perhaps spiritual or loving, award from family and people whose lives you have touched.
Here are some thoughts I got from last night’s performance.
Do you love what you do and do you have a dream? If you want to share it with us, we’d love to hear about it.
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So much of looking younger is thinking and feeling younger. Our faces, bodies and attitudes are what create a total, youthful package.
I recently saw Iron Lady with Meryl Streep. I think she is an absolutely a fabulous actor and watching her on screen as she depicts Margaret Thatcher, was a marvel. I watched the way she walked, her posture, to say nothing of her incredible makeup and saw how she carried herself as a young, confident Thatcher and as the older Thatcher. It’s an insightful look at youth and age in one film.
Margaret Thatcher Image via Wikipedia
Here were my thoughts on looking younger as I viewed the film:
Let me know if you have any other tips or if you have comments on anti-aging ideas. And if you enjoyed this article, I would LOVE it if you would “like” and” tweet” me. Simply click the icons below this blog.
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I love the holiday season! It changes our everyday lives into a time for lists filled with to-do’s, spending, remembering loved ones, and mailboxes filled with something other than junk mail. What I especially like is the surge of human energy that surrounds us. It’s a temporary escape from reality before plunging into the real world of 2012 which could be much like 2011.
It’s also a time when there’s a lot of creativity in making others feel in a holiday mood. Here in Alameda, CA, although it’s a small town, Christmas Tree Lane is always popular and fun to walk up and down. My favorite is the parents trying to answer the endless questions the little ones have. Click on either photo and it will take you to another version where if you click again, you can see a larger photo.
I was so impressed with the following creative Christmas lights display found on UTube, in case you haven’t seen this.
From what I understand, the creator of this display is a computer genius as well as a fabulous designer. Open the link and see if you agree:
Then there’s the husband who is in a hurry to play golf and is definitely not a designer (yes, honey..I did hang the lights)…
That's one item off my Honey-Do list!
One of the highlights of this season is the shopping trip with my grandsons (twins 14 and their little brother 10). While shopping for their dad, they really thought I should have this piece of furniture. (It’s bigger than my living room).
This is an awesome piece of furniture
Whatever you’re doing, wherever you are, I hope you will savor each moment of the rest of the year and that the coming year will filled with joy, love and abundance.
With love and good wishes,
Dolores
Gift Clutter
Seems that clutter is an inevitable part of simply being alive. It’s that part that nags at you in the background as “Should do”, ” Hate to think about it”, and “Why am I feeling like I’m always running behind?”
As we prepare for the holiday season, (yikes…it’s here again), we know what that means: lots of celebrations, too much food, lots of gift-giving and gift-getting and the ever-constant, “What shall I wear?”
Now that it’s all ahead of you, it’s time to start planning. Who hasn’t realized, after it’s all over, that many of the “gifts” are a waste of money, time and effort. And you also know that shopping, looking in store windows, listening to the holiday music will propel you into the spirit of it all (especially for the merchants) disguised as joy.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s fun to have a package or two to open during Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and other celebratory days. Now, the other side of the coin is a depleted bank balance, exhaustion, worry about what to buy, confusion, and, of course, where do we store these newly acquired items.
It’s interesting that all of these traditional celebrations started with honoring a spiritual or religious event but now have become so commercialized that the endless holiday music and “buy, buy, buy” commercials start even before Halloween.
But, getting back to gifts, shopping, etc.
Truth be told, many of us are downsizing and are trying hard to eliminate the clutter in our homes. How to celebrate without going broke is a major concern for many who have no jobs or are on a limited income.
In thinking about how to prepare and celebrate the holidays, here are some ideas that can help eliminate clutter and allow celebration and fun in the coming months.
The hardest for me is shopping for someone who has or can buy anything they want. The most appreciated gift for the men in my life (sons and best friend), is a gift card from me offering to fix their favorite dinner at a time of their choosing.
There’s something about planning ahead that adds to the enjoyment of the season. The idea is to keep the list small, keep it fun, use your creativity and the holidays can truly be a celebration.
Have any great tips? Please share.
Have you ever thought about how you might be remembered? I sometimes wonder if I will be remembered!
Recently I attended a memorial service for a dear friend. As always, there’s a sadness at a memorial service, despite the full church, the beautiful tributes, the outstanding reception…all things he would have loved. All were a tribute to him, only he wasn’t physically there. Yet I could see that his legacy of openness, warmth and his welcoming spirit were very much there, reflected in his family. He left behind a beautiful, loving family and a legacy of trust, generosity and kindness, which were part of what he was.
What struck me once again is how important family is, how fragile life is, and how strong love is.
It brought home many thoughts about life in general and left me wondering who would remember me. And were I to be remembered, what about me would they remember? What we leave behind is something most of us don’t like to think about, me included, but it’s not too late to do something about we want to leave behind. It’s important and has an impact on how we live our lives today.
As I looked around, I thought, “Look at what he left behind.” In the recesses of my mind I remembered a quote I had once read…I believe it was by the famous psychologist, Eric Ericson, that said, “You are what you leave behind.”
I’m sure you all have lost someone you loved or cared about at some time in your life. No doubt their passing left a vacant spot in your heart, a spot that now can only be filled with memories.
Although they’re no longer physically available, interesting things can happen with memories. If you extract the lessons learned from that person through your memories you will find gifts that are yours for the taking.
I’ll give you a couple of examples:
Mom in 1930
My Mom would have been 100 years old this month. Mothers are our first teachers. They help form our personalities and the way we are to a great extent. In the end, she left behind who she was…the mother of five children, many grandchildren and great-grandchildren…all the results of the 92 years of her life. Her legacy? A sense of fun and a great sense of humor. All five of us took that as our special gift.
My Best Friend for many years. I still think about her every time I go to one of the many neighborhoods where we lived in San Francisco as young, single 20-year olds. I don’t think I ever heard her criticize anyone in all the time I knew her. I always smile when I think of her and her down-to-earth way of seeing the best in people. I’m still working on that and sometimes ask myself, “Now what would she have done?”
I invite you to think about three persons you have lost, what your memories are about that person, and write down what gifts they left behind for you? When I did this, I felt a sense of gratitude and wondered what I would leave behind for my sons and grandchildren. What kind of an example or impact will I have in their lives? What lessons and gifts will I leave behind?
Usually we’re not aware of the impact we have on others, whether it’s positive or negative. The great news is that with understanding that who you are is what you leave behind, there’s time to make sure that what you leave behind is a rich legacy filled with love.
Sociologist Anthony Campolo tells about a study in which 50 people over the age of 95 were asked one question: “If you could live your life over again, what would you do differently?” Three things consistently emerged:
• Reflect more
• Risk more
• Do more things that would live on after I am dead.
If you want to create an intentional legacy, you need to rethink your priorities.”
And we can start today!
I haven’t forgotten you. I think about you more often than you would believe.
I’ve been working on a very special event that will take place in Oakland, CA on October 22, 2011. We will host Margaret Wheatley, author, speaker, thinker, in an exciting one-day event. Joining us will be community leaders, human resource managers and coaches…maybe you?
Margaret Wheatley
In preparation for what to expect from this dynamic speaker, I picked up two of Margaret (Meg) Wheatley’s books, Walk Out Walk On, co-authored by Deborah Frieze, and Perseverance.
Walk Out Walk On takes us on a journey with people who have decided to walk out of one way of living and walk on to a life with a greater purpose. Perseverance is one of those small books you can dip in and out of when you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed. I find it to be a positive way to start the day with an inspirational or fresh insight before life gets in the way of all I have planned for the day..
Meg has written six books, including Leadership and the New Science. This last book was on loan to me by a friend who told me it was required reading during her doctoral program. As I read the book, I came to understand why it was required reading. Her views and examples of leadership in communities shows her as one of the most paradigm-changing, thought-provoking leaders of our time.
Barbara McAfee
Barbara McAfee, who will accompany Meg, is an organizational singer, musician and voice coach. She contributes an element of fun and high energy as she brings home Meg’s messages through song and voice. She was recently interviewed about what she does on a webcast. In a highly interactive call, she gave us “voice lessons” as she demonstrates the different voices people can use to communicate more effectively.
After hearing her on the call, I can understand why she also is in great demand at conventions and other large events.
To request a link to her free webcast, go here and scroll down to about the middle of the page to the “request a link” button. To learn more about the event, go to this link which will take you to the details. On the website, you can explore the opportunities available for the event.
If you can’t attend in person, a simulcast you can watch in the comfort of your own home is available that day and for four weeks following the event.
Will you be there? If you are, make sure you tap me on the shoulder and let me know you’re Sixty and Sensational!
Use this special code and receive a 10% discount: SIXTYTEN
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If you’ve been watching the news and observing the posturing and rhetoric of our political parties, you may have felt dismayed, disgusted, frustrated or perhaps fearful. I have felt all those things along with helplessness. The stubborn beliefs, true and false accusations and opinions from self-appointed “experts” have left me confused about what purpose is being served.
Seems that every time there is an election on the horizon, deficit spending (the big culprit) is given a new definition (depending on which party is in power, of course) and there is an immediate attack on Social Security and Medicare Benefits. Talking on both sides of the mouth is the common form of debate. An example is how dirty the word “entitlement” has become. Ironically, it’s used only for Social Security, Medicare and unemployment benefits. Never mind that many of us have paid into Social Security for years, employers have paid for unemployment benefits, are taxed on these “entitlements,” and recipients still pay taxes on benefits they’ve already paid for.
So what do we call the pensions to which lawmakers and politicians are “entitled?” Would they be willing to cut their entitlements? After all, their pensions and tax breaks are also entitlements. So far there is no evidence that any of them would give up their benefits. Why is this glossed over?
Robbing senior citizens of income they depend on could result in a sad, growing majority population of homeless senior citizens, the very population that has supported these politicians. This is also the most unemployable population. Because it’s a growing population there are quick accusations of how these seniors will rob future generations of their “entitlements.” No matter what seniors do, we seem to carry the brunt of the ills of the country. It’s ludicrous to what extent some politicians will go to be in the spotlight and comments, such as Rick Perry’s “Social Security is a Ponzi scheme,” will (sadly) appeal to a few misguided youth.
It would be nothing short of miraculous if these “leaders” actually spent more time doing something that would truly benefit our citizens. And miracle of miracles, what would happen if the person we’ve chosen to be our leader was actually supported rather than being fought at every turn? Obviously, people wanted change and now we’re back to fighting every change proposed, mainly for political gain.
So what can we do? Sophomoric though it may seem, I’d say to pay attention to what the many candidate say in the news, debates, ads, let go of preconceived political beliefs, and ask yourself:
“How will this really benefit our country?”
“How will will this benefit my family, my community, our children’s education and everyone else, including seniors?”
“Am I following political rhetoric or beliefs I picked up from parents, religious gurus, and other people who hold themselves as authorities, or is this truly what’s in my heart?”
I’m not an expert on politics and don’t even like writing about politics but these last few weeks have left me questioning my own beliefs.
