When inspiration comes from perspiration

November 10, 2012 by 6 Comments

Lately I’ve had writer’s block and haven’t posted an article for a while. When I hit a dry spell I look around for writing prompts or turn to my journal and stare at it for a while before I close it. Then I look for the next way to escape from “doing the thing” I promised myself I would do.

Do you ever have those moments? Hours? Days?

photo of crumpled papers

Maybe the next draft will do it…

Sometimes when I want to try something different I’ll write a Nonet. This is a newer type of poetry where you start with nine syllables, the next line has eight, then seven and on down to one syllable. It’s fun and I discovered that it’s like a puzzle that’s not impossible for non-poets like myself. Here’s one I wrote:

Blogging

My mind is like a desert wasteland

Nothing to say a lot to do

Why waste another’s time too

With words that don’t inspire

Or lighten the heart

That don’t sparkle

How I do

Stay in

Touch?

Strange how just struggling over the challenge of putting words into an unfamiliar form or doing something I’ve been putting off can change my energy. Call it perspiration for inspiration or butt in gear. Of course this works with most things that keep us stuck, be it exercise, diet, relationships, etc. We can get stuck just on decisions we’re trying to make.

If you’re feeling stuck on something, why not try something new or something you’re not comfortable with? Explore the discomfort and see what comes up for you.

In my Nonet I found that if I don’t have anything to say or write about, I don’t want to waste anyone’s time. I can also see that it’s important to me that I help “lighen the heart.”

If you’re stuck on something, may I help you lighten your heart? If so, I’d love to work through that with you.

Just contact me (doloreshagen@gmail.com) and  I’ll be happy to gift you with a half-hour coaching consultation.

 

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Even smart people can get scammed

July 27, 2012 by 2 Comments

There seems to be a proliferation of scam calls, many of which we’ve been warned about before. The scammers have become so sophisticated, however, that even smart people can fall into their carefully laid-out traps. Here’s a story about what happened to a friend this week who, though embarrassed about having been the victim, wanted others to know the details and who hopefully will not fall prey to a similar situation.

My friend received a call from “his nephew” who asked if his “favorite” uncle would help him out. The story went like this: Said nephew was having marital troubles, stopped at a bar to have a drink, decided to spend the night with a friend, came across a road block, his alcohol level was a bit over the legal limit and he was now in jail…a horrible jail….where he did not want to spend another minute.

According to the nephew, bail was set at $1,800.50 and the court wouldn’t take a check or credit card to pay the fine. He didn’t want my friend to call his dad (my friend’s brother) because he didn’t want them to know about his marriage being somewhat rocky.

My friend was asked to have a Moneygram transfer to a local drug store where his attorney could pick up the check and pay his fine. And, oh yes, it had to be done before 2:00 p.m. Pacific time because the court closes at 5:00 p.m. Eastern time. When he had completed the transaction, he was to call an 800 number, dial a certain extension, and give the Moneygram confirmation number to the “attorney.”

The number was an 800 number that answered via answering machine, “County Court’s Office.” When he dialed the extension, a woman who said she was the nephew’s attorney took the confirmation number and said, “He can make two calls and the second call will be to you to let you know he’s been bailed out.” Of course that never happened.

In retrospect, he says he could have done a few things differently, like think with his head, not his generous heart.

Any one of us can be emotionally triggered when a family member or dear friend is in trouble, and this is what these scammers prey upon. Unfortunately, it works a lot of the time, especially when something is as well planned out as this was.

Think about it. Anyone can get an 800 number and put whatever message they want on it.  Moneygrams require cash payments and you’re given a confirmation number so that it can be picked up anywhere there’s a Moneygram facility.

The scary part is that the scammers seemed to know something about my friend’s family; i.e., nephew’s name, that he was recently wed, that his father and my friend were brothers. Since he doesn’t take part in social media, they had to get the information somewhere and that part remains a mystery.

Speaking of scams, here’s one more that surprised me. I’ve recently received many calls, some political and many “out of area” calls. One number I looked up by area code was from Costa Rica. Another one was from Washington. Out of curiosity I called that number and the immediate answering machine said, “Please enter your ‘do not call’ numbers.” I didn’t but looked up the correct number for that service. What I found surprised me. Take a look here. https://www.donotcall.gov/

Some final word of caution:

  1. Don’t send money to anyone you don’t know. That includes calls that say your son, mother, daughter has been in an accident, is in jail, or anyone who promises you riches being held for you if you only send them money so it can be released.
  2. Be careful about giving personal information to strangers, to workers who are repairing your home, garden or car.
  3. Do not give your Social Security number to anyone who calls you to “verify” any of your accounts.
  4. Check everything out, including promises of mortgage loans at a low cost, quick loans of any kind and “out of area” calls.
  5. Always review your checking account, bank statements and especially credit card statements.
  6. Call your bank or credit card number immediately if you find charges you don’t understand.
  7. Report fraud to police department. Many scams are not reported because of embarrassed victims.

For more information, here’s the consumer affairs website for you to check out.

 

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How to Create a Signature Style

April 24, 2011 by 1 Comment

There’s no doubt that personal style, also known as a signature style, can change your view of how you see the world and how the world sees you.

When you think of the many style icons who have created an impression on you and how you view them, is there an image that comes to mind? Some of the few that you may be familiar with are:

  • Audrey Hepburn – the classy, understated gamin look.
  • Grace Kelly – Elegance personified.
  • Helen Mirren – Romantic charm

    Photo of Halle Berry & Helen Mirren

    Halle Berry & Helen Mirren

  • Halle Berry – A spiky haircut to show her beautiful facial structure
  • Lady Gaga – Outrageous and wild – a bid for attention

You can see that a signature style can be quietly elegant or outlandishly wild. To try creating a signature look without knowing who you are and what you love is like eating a dish you don’t like because it’s “good” for you. Style has to work for you, not the other way around.

Style killers!

  • Trying too hard to look like you did when you were 20 or 30;
  • Not understanding what flatters your body shape;
  • Hating your age rather than embracing it;
  • Trying to copy someone else’s style.

If you want to create your own special style and aren’t too sure about what that really means for you, you can experience it through the “Sensational You 6-week Coaching Course,” that starts on May 24. You can create your own signature look and it doesn’t have to break the bank. All you need is to understand how to apply some of the principles and secrets that are so basic and easy to use once you know what to do.

To start creating your own signature style, begin by leafing through magazines and cutting out the styles you like. What do you like about those styles? Are they colorful, artistic, conservative, sporty, business-like or romantic? Perhaps you like a combination of those styles. Keep searching until you have ALL the styles you like. Once you find them, put a one-word description beneath each one about how that style makes you feel. For example, “I like this style makes me feel ______ (like it’s me, delighted, inspired). It’s the feeling you get when you see something you like that will draw you to seeing the possibilities for yourself.

I’m excited about presenting part of this course on personal style because there is so little attention paid to the 60 plus woman. This could be the one course you take that is devoted only to you, how you feel about yourself and how you look. Because I like easy, it’s all been put together in easy steps that will boost your confidence and your image like very few things (other than falling in love, of course) can do.

You can go here to learn more about the course; however, it is limited to only 10 women, so if you really feel this is for you, I would encourage you to sign up today.

 

 

 

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What To Do When Procrastination Strikes!

June 20, 2010 by 3 Comments

For Valentine’s Day, at age nine, I sent my grandmother two pillowcases with little hearts embroidered on the edges. Without doubt, she was my favorite Valentine.

Her thank you note to me was in the form of a story.

She wrote that as she slept, she dreamed some bad fairies threatened to take her beautiful pillowcases if she couldn’t spell the word procrastination. Try as she might, she couldn’t remember how to spell the word. She thought to herself, “How could I, an English teacher, forget how to spell such a simple word?” She racked her brain but couldn’t remember. Suddenly it came to her. Just as the fairies grabbed her pillowcases, she shouted: P R O C R A S T I N A T I O N! Of course her treasured pillowcases were saved and the fairies flew away in disgust.

Perhaps this was her way of giving me something that would trigger a memory in me each time I land in the procrastination net where I seem to bounce around quite often.

Why do we procrastinate? Here’s what I’ve come up with. Mainly, they’re avoidance strategies. Maybe you can relate to some of these or add some of your own.

The task is boring.

These are the every day mundane things that never go away. This is the clutter that gets in your way of accomplishing what you really want to do. Don’t believe the sign that says, “A messy desk is a sign of genius.” Actually, it’s a sign of a confused mind.

The task will wait because I’m so busy.

This includes calls from family, friends, clients, etc. Depending on your priorities, setting up boundaries is one solution. That’s what message machines and voice mails are for. A companion to being a slave to the phone is saying “yes” to a task that you don’t want to do and consider a waste of time, but you might do because you don’t want to offend anyone.

I’m afraid of how I/it will look, as in “It has to be perfect.”

For a long time I hesitated to publish my blog because I didn’t think it was good enough to interest anyone, especially women over sixty. Now that I’m working on it consistently (well, almost), I’m finding that I enjoy blogging and quite a few women like it.  Besides, there is no such thing as a perfect person, product, blog or website. Some will like it and find value, some won’t.

Bright, shiny objects syndrome

It’s easy to distracted by something more interesting when approaching a task. It can take the form of a telephone call, an area that needs dusting, a new magazine or book you’ve been meaning to read. This is especially true if you’re trying to clear clutter. The subtle, underlying thought might be, “If I get all this done, then what will I have left to do?” There’s something about old training, when we were told to keep busy, that makes us think we’ve been productive. Busy can be an excuse to avoid the big things that are more daunting. At least that’s what I’ve experienced.

I don’t know how to do the task.

This is the hardest one if you don’t ask for help. Women are so used to giving that receiving help is difficult. It’s good to remember that asking for help can be a great compliment to the person you asked to help you. The more specific you are about what you need, the easier it will be for someone to help you.

What to do.

To avoid procrastination it’s important not to try to climb Mt. Everest or write the great American novel in a day. That’s why it works well to make a short list of high-priority items and put times next to them. This creates visual guidelines. Even if there are brush fires that need dousing, at least there will be some movement and sense of accomplishment.

What’s a “short list?” The idea is to put no more than five things on the list unless they’re work or home projects that require a full day. If your day is filled with odds and ends, no more than ten items works well. For big jobs (clearing closets, clearing a garage), the day will go much better if the task is broken down into smaller pieces of time.

And don’t forget to write out how you will reward yourself when all is done.

Any ideas out there?

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Give Your Business a Spring Cleaning

June 8, 2010 by Leave a Comment

Give Your Business a Spring Cleaning
Eight tips for clearing the clutter, streamlining your organization and giving it new life.

Read more on TheStreet.com

Tackle your clutter zones
Expert offers fresh tips on clearing out the unnecessary
Read more on Seattle Times

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Reaching the Senior Market

March 31, 2010 by Leave a Comment

Recently, I was privileged to be a presenter at “Free Webinar Wednesdays” on the topic of why reaching the senior market is so important. The Webinar, created on a blog platform, provides weekly learning opportunities for community banks, service professionals and small businesses and is run by Jeff Simpkins and Eric Cook. The blog itself is full of information on many topics such as marketing, writing, promotions, and building successful blogs.

Each Wednesday Jeff and Eric conduct a free Webinar open to anyone who would like to sign up for the broadcast. Hearing them live is inspiring and their genuine interest in helping businesses grow is clearly motivating. The presentations are then recorded and posted in the blog.

For each of the presentations in their archives, you will see a black screen. When you click on that, the presentation will start.

The link to their blog is here.

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Can We Stop the Insanity?

February 20, 2010 by 3 Comments

Something I’ve heard a lot lately is the following: “The definition of insanity is doing that you’ve always done and expecting different results.”

I don’t know who said this but I think it’s so true. It reminds me of a gerbil running furiously inside a wheel going nowhere fast. It’s great exercise, though.

There is so much behind this saying. We forget that without a vision of what we want in our lives most of what we do is an exercise. We’re bombarded with so many options, changes, choices, get-rich-quick schemes that, in our haste to grab at something, we forget what we’re all about. I know I’ve done that.

How can we jump off the gerbil wheel and stop the insanity?

Finding a coach who can work with you is of paramount importance. Without an objective look at what you want to do it’s easy to get off track. This is true whether you want to be a published author, a workshop leader, or you simply want to create a legacy for the generation that will follow you.

While watching the Winter Olympics, I noticed that the first person each winner hugged was his or her coach. These are the athletes who had a vision, knew they couldn’t do it alone, and had an experienced coach help them make corrections and changes so that they could claim victory.  It was the coach who kept them from doing the same things over and over again expecting different results.

We may not be competing for a spot on the Olympic team but we can create our own vision and live that vision.

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How to Listen With Heart

January 11, 2010 by 3 Comments

Have you ever watched the TV show,” Frasier?” Though it’s a comedy the way he starts his radio show with, “Hello…I’m listening,” you’ll hear the number one principle in relationships with anyone. Only after he’s listened does he dispense his advice to the caller. He reminds me that so often we say, “I’m listening,” but really, we’re not. We’re in our own thought processes. Have your ever experienced this? I have both as a listener and as the speaker.

The subtle, perhaps unconscious, thoughts are: (1) What does this have to do with me, (2) When he/she stops talking, I’ll tell them even a better story, and (3) He/she’s doing it all wrong and needs help, followed by, “Here’s what I would do…”.

During  coaches’ training there were many things that changed my life. The ONE big idea that overrides the many lessons is the emphasis on listening…listening at a level that goes beyond hearing the words, beyond the book learning and beyond the advice-giving. What a life coach does is really hear what the person being coached is saying at an intuitive and global level. Only by listening can we help that person find their own ways  to resolve their own problems, take action, and be accountable.

When I have a dilemma or when I need some brainstorming on something I want to do, I will call on my own coach. Together we look at different perspectives and create a plan of action. If I talk to a friend, I’ve usually gotten advice, most of which I never asked for. I don’t know about you, but often the advice received is something you already know. This always brings the question to my mind, “Does he/she believe I haven’t already thought of this?” Often we don’t want someone to give us a solution to a problem. Sometimes we just like to  be heard.

This brings me to three ways you can help build better relationships with your clients and friends.

First: Focus. Pay attention! If a person is hurting or wants to discuss something, especially if they’re bareing their souls, this is not the time to solve a problem for them. Just listen. You don’t have to say anything. If you feel you must respond, try, “I’m listening,” or “I hear you.”

Second: Use empathy. This doesn’t mean saying, “I know how you feel,” because you really don’t. It’s better if you can mirror those feelings with rephrasing. For example, “I feel so confused!” Your answer might be, “You’re feeling pulled in all directions.” At this point, it doesn’t help to say, “This is what I would do…” or, “Have you tried…?”

Third: It’s okay to remain silent, to hug, if that’s what’s needed, or to ask, “Is there anything more you want to tell me?” or “Is there anything I can do?”

Listening, truly listening with heart and at a deeper level will enhance and your relationships with friends, family and customers. It will validate their feelings and you will know what they really want, not what you think they want.

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Forget Resolutions. Create a Plan.

January 6, 2010 by 5 Comments

January 1 is no different than December 31, yet there’s something about looking at a blank calendar in the new year that inspires us to make a new start. To me, it’s a blessing that we can always look ahead and plan for a more prosperous, joyful year, and what better time than after the chaos and celebration of the holidays!

I’ve found that most resolutions go by the wayside in about ten days and are more fantasy than reality.  If you’ve made resolutions, among which is the ever-popular ten-pound weight loss, how long was it before those resolutions went by the wayside? For me, it was about ten days. Happily, there’s a better way to insure that you  get what you want and accomplish what you set out to do in four easy steps.

Step One:

One of the seven habits recommended by Stephen Covey, who wrote “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” is, “Start with the end in mind.” When you start with the end in mind, our calendars will start to look more like an action plan…one that you can look back on at the end of the year with a sense of accomplishment.

If you begin at the end of the year and work your way back to today, you will create a path quite different than if you were to start at the beginning of the year and set your goals going forward. Planning for the future by starting with the end in mind can help you create a roadmap that could change your mindset, give you more confidence, and end the year in a victorious way. Also, it’s a way to plan ahead a bit at a time in order to get to the big goal. It’s like seeing the big picture and filling in the details one brushstroke at a time.

Step Two:

Start is by answering the question: “On January 1, 2011 (Yikes!), what would I like to see as I look back on 2010? For example, if this is the year to lose those unwanted pounds, what would you like to weigh at the end of the year? How many pounds a week or month would you need to let go of and how will you go about doing that?  It could be as simple as shedding two pounds a month or one a week through diet and/or exercise. Once you decide what you want, you can create an action plan by marking the weekly goals on your calendar or in a graph.

Perhaps you want this to be the year of prosperity. If so, how will that look at the end of the year and what will it take for you to reach December 31 with prosperity? By deciding exactly what amount of money you want to have this year, you can create a plan for that amount. Will it require additional work? a consistent savings or investment plan? paying off credit cards? getting more clients? raising your rates? If so, when would you do this?

Step Three:

Once you have figured out the areas you want to change or add to, pick a theme for the year. Write that theme (or intention) on a blank sheet of paper or index card and keep it where you can see it when you find yourself getting off track. You could even make this a screen saver. This reminder will serve as a touchstone you can use to keep you on track.

Here are some theme ideas:

-    My year of elegance and beauty
-    My year of abundance and prosperity
-    My year of giving back
-    My year of amazing health
-    My year of travel
-    My year of clearing clutter
-    My year of creating a legacy
-    My year of fun and laughter

Step Four:

Start with the first 30 days by answering this question: “At the end of the month, what do I REALLY want to have accomplished?” Map out the steps and put them in your calender. At the end of each month, you will have a sense of changing your life for the better, one small step at a time.

May this year be full of joy, laughter, abundance and beauty for you.

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Will We Have Enough Retirement Money?

December 15, 2009 by Leave a Comment

Many seniors are struggling to make ends meet. How are they managing now that the days when women and men could count on a company retirement are gone?

After the fear is gone, or perhaps because of it, energetic seniors are finding ways to either boost their income or to simply  make enough money to sustain themselves. For many who have been let go despite their experience and money-making abilities, the challenge is to create their own jobs.

Like the phoenix rising, out of the ashes, there is an emergence of new organizations that offer innovative services based on years of experience in various fields. Many working seniors employing the talents they once used to make a lot of money for a former company. They’re changing their focus from being an employee to creating a new career that will serve the people they want to serve.

Some seniors, especially those who actually have some investments that can support them, are taking up brand new businesses that are completely different than what they did professionally. For example, the urologist turned homebuilder, the engineer turned water-color artist, and the actress turned improv teacher.

Many working professionals nearing retirement age say they want to continue working simply because they enjoy working and don’t like the idea of doing nothing for the rest of their lives. They want to be contributing to society and in so doing, they say they feel younger and more energetic.

What’s interesting is that according to a recent USA Today/Gallup poll, a majority of Americans are looking forward to working beyond retirement age, potentially blurring the significance of “retirement” in years to come. Overall, 63% of non-retired U.S. adults say they plan to work when they reach retirement age. This includes 51% who say they will work part time and 12% who say they will work full time.

If you’re in the throes of deciding what you can do to start your own business, here are some questions to consider and to get you started:

  • What do you LOVE to do?
  • What values are important to you; i.e., honesty, integrity, service, freedom, financial success? Pick what you most value as a starting point.
  • What kind of a business model will you use? For example: One-on-One Service; Service for Many; Product Sales; Information Marketing?
  • What marketing methods will you use? Advertising; Internet Marketing; Cold-Calling?
  • Who will be your support team? Accountant; Attorney; Virtual Assistant?

This is the start of a business plan that can serve you should you decide to move ahead with your new career. The most important question is the first one: What do you LOVE to do? By answering this question, you can make headway into creating a business that you love, that reflects your values and that will bring you great satisfaction.

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