Why Feeling Invisible Can Be Good

April 2, 2012 By 3 Comments

Do you ever have that feeling of being invisible?

Yesterday I watched my twin grandsons play in a Lacrosse game. They’re getting to be young men and I know they won’t be around and easily accessible to me in a short time, so I try to be at their games and events.

As always after a game, they can’t wait to get something to eat and will descend on the designated after-game place to wolf down in one sitting what would last me for a week. I usually go along to where they hang out after the game and enjoy the noise, enthusiasm and camaraderie they have with their team.

Picture of Lacrosse teamI watch them and often get that feeling of invisibility that decends on me like the cloak in Harry Potter’s adventures. Surprisingly, it’s almost as much fun.

So why then do I attend their games when I can? The long and short of it is that they appreciate my being there. Sometimes they even thank me! The big benefit I receive is that even though I often feel invisible, I know that being invisible is perfectly OKAY. There are benefits to being invisible in certain circumstances. I get to observe their conversation, to enjoy their way of looking at the world and I get to create a memory for me and for them.

For example, during the energetic and LOUD talk about their games, I feel completely invisible. I can’t join in the conversation (I don’t understand the details of the game) and it would be easy to judge them as they brag about how many bruises they got in the game. Although the conversations with the young moms and dads are respectful, I know we don’t have much in common, so I mostly listen.  Nevertheless, this time is precious and it will end too soon.

One thing I know for sure is that there are times when it’s good to be invisible and times when it’s not. In observing these young boys who are moving into manhood, I see  them fighting for recognition or being visible. This will probably go on for a long, long time.

Perhaps we all fight for recognition. It’s part of being human and wanting to be acknowledged for who we are (or who we think we are). The need to be recognized no matter where we are, I believe, is what that’s what creates the feeling of being overlooked when we’re not noticed or acknowledged.

This may sound off the wall, but I’ve found that who we are most invisible to is ourselves. Being invisible to ourselves has its symptoms; for example:

  • Failing to recognize our talents
  • Forgetting what gifts we have to give to the world
  • Letting fear run our lives because we might fail
  • Not knowing who we really are at our soul level
  • Playing small where we need to play a bigger game

One of my clients, a beautiful, brilliant, talented woman was so used to being in the spotlight that when circumstances caused the spotlight to shut down, she lost track of who she really is. After exploring who she really is, finding her core values and recognizing that where she is now is perfect for her, she is heading for a more rewarding phase of her life. Her need to be recognized because of her hard-won status has changed to fit another, more rewarding lifestyle.

The key here is that she first she had to become invisible in order to observe and nurture her true self. From that comes a quality visibility that serves her higher purpose.

I’ll have to admit that I’ve been guilty of creating my own invisible self. When I forget who I truly am, and it does come and go, I procrastinate, find many ways to distract myself from the task at hand and suffer from low self-esteem. The opposite is true.

Do you know who you truly are? How do you drop the cloak of invisibility, if you have one, and what do you do on the path to self-discovery?

I’d love to know.

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What we can learn from the Academy Awards

February 27, 2012 By 8 Comments

Did you watch the Academy Awards last night?

Because I’m a single woman I like to invite other single women for a night of snacks and fashion gossip. It’s a fun way to view the Oscar night fashions and ooooh and aaaah over their impossibly perfect figures mostly clad in almost painted-on gorgeous gowns. Mostly the gowns were beautifully simple with only a couple of them bordering on indecent exposure.

This was the first time, though, that I felt inspired at the richness and depth of the older actors who respect their craft and continue to perfect it. It gives me hope that as a society, we’ll someday get to the point where becoming older (and who isn’t!) is respected and admired as much as it is in other countries.

Best Actress Academy Award

Best Actress Academy Award (Photo credit: cliff1066™)

Throughout the years, on and off, I have watched some great Oscar nights and quite a few disappointing ones. Last night, I thought, was one of the best but what moved me want to write about it was Christopher Plummer winning theBest Actor Award at age 82!

Just shows that doing what you love, continuing to learn, and taking a few risks is what makes for an award-winning life.

In my last article I wrote about all the things I noticed about aging as Meryl Streep played Margaret Thatcher in The Iron Lady. Whether or not you’re a Streep fan, there’s no doubt that she’s a sensational woman who takes on roles that expand her talents. The makeup that transformed Streep into the young Thatcher and old Thatcher, Oscar also went to her makeup artists, Mark Coulier and J. Roy Helland. Well deserved for the job they did. I also noted that many who received awards said it was a life dream come true.

The motivation to write this is also the question, “What can we do to make our own lives worthy of an Oscar?” Not necessarily aHollywood-type one, but a personal, perhaps spiritual or loving, award from family and people whose lives you have touched.

Here are some thoughts I got from last night’s performance.

  • If you have a dream, do what you can to make it come true. It will take work, mostly pushing away those gremlins whose only job is to create fear in your mind… to protect you, of course! You may need to confront or push them away daily, maybe even hourly! The idea is to take some action to make your dream a reality. It’s also evident that it’s important not to become too attached to the outcome but to steadily move yourself in the direction of what you want. An example of this is in Streep’s acceptance speech (see link below). Why? When we become attached to the way we want things to be in the end, we close off some of the other blessings that may come our way. Also, we can become discouraged, while moving toward your dream and taking action will bring more inspiration through daily victories.
  • Do what you love and keep doing more of it. This can be a struggle for some as we love to do too many things. Sadly, too many of us don’t do what we love and feel we’re stuck in a no-win situation. The truth is that the only person who can “unstick” us is ourselves. When we invest our time on things that truly matter, the outcome will always be rewarding. spending time on things that don’t matter in the long run, can trigger a bout of procrastination, something I can personally vouch for.
  • Work a bit harder to create the healthiest body we can. Trying for a perfect shape is not as important as it to try for perfect health. We only have one body and it’s ours, like it of not. If it was somewhat abused over the holidays and it’s still gasping for air, hoping to be rescued, right now is the perfect time to take care of it. For me, it means getting off my butt, moving out of my comfortable chair, stretching and walking. It doesn’t have to be excessive, it just has to happen.

Do you love what you do and do you have a dream? If you want to share it with us, we’d love to hear about it.

 

 

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Don’t Let the Holidays Add Clutter: Here’s How

November 11, 2011 By 2 Comments
Photo of attic clutter

Gift Clutter

Seems that clutter is an inevitable part of simply being alive. It’s that part that nags at you in the background as “Should do”, ” Hate to think about it”, and “Why am I feeling like I’m always running behind?”

As we prepare for the holiday season, (yikes…it’s here again), we know what that means: lots of celebrations, too much food, lots of gift-giving and gift-getting and the ever-constant, “What shall I wear?”

Now that it’s all ahead of you, it’s time to start planning. Who hasn’t realized, after it’s all over, that many of the “gifts” are a waste of money, time and effort. And you also know that shopping, looking in store windows, listening to the holiday music will propel you into the spirit of it all (especially for the merchants) disguised as joy.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s fun to have a package or two to open during Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and other celebratory days. Now, the other side of the coin is a depleted bank balance, exhaustion, worry about what to buy, confusion, and, of course, where do we store these newly acquired items.

It’s interesting that all of these traditional celebrations started with honoring a spiritual or religious event but now have become so commercialized that the endless holiday music and “buy, buy, buy” commercials start even before Halloween.

But, getting back to gifts, shopping, etc.

Truth be told, many of us are downsizing and are trying hard to eliminate the clutter in our homes. How to celebrate without going broke is a major concern for  many who have no jobs or are on a limited income.

In thinking about how to prepare and celebrate the holidays, here are some ideas that can help eliminate clutter and allow celebration and fun in the coming months.

  • Give yourself the gift of clearing clutter from closets, cupboards and bathroom cubbyholes and cabinets (making room for what may come);
  • Gift others with items you no longer want or need by donating them to a local charity;
  • Start your gift-thinking now. What do your loved ones truly enjoy?
  • Purchase a pre-loaded credit card with what you’ve budgeted to spend. When the card runs out, so do the purchased gifts. Bonus: No extra bills to pay.
  • Keep your eye on the future: One friend has given her grandchildren savings bonds for every birthday and holiday, not the most popular thing with them when they were younger, but now that they’re heading off to college, they are extremely grateful. Truth be told, most children receive so many things they may play with for a few days and then lose interest.
  • Last year my grandson lit up when I suggested we buy some chickens for a farmer so that the farmer could start a poultry business. There are many places where help is needed and children seem to gravitate toward anything having to do with animals and people who don’t have enough to eat.One of my favorite charities is World Vision Gifts, where I can give the gift of an animal. There are others: Heifer.org, Gifts for Life,  Samaritan’s Purse, for example.
  • Small gift ideas for friends: Your favorite recipe attached to a box or jar of the ingredients (my favorites are a yummy hot fudge sauce and homemade granola); A framed photograph of something that includes that friend; a beautiful journal; a gift certificate to a favorite coffee house; homemade jam; etc. Nothing has to be grandiose, just thoughtful. One of my friends picks up small things throughout the year then packs four or five of them in a beautiful gift bag. None are expensive but opening each one is delightful (a refrigerator magnet like a miniature violin, a bag of raw almonds, jar of honey from her friend’s hive, a bookmark).

The hardest for me is shopping for someone who has or can buy anything they want. The most appreciated gift for the men in my life (sons and best friend), is a gift card from me offering to fix their favorite dinner at a time of their choosing.

There’s something about planning ahead that adds to the enjoyment of the season. The idea is to keep the list small, keep it fun, use your creativity and the holidays can truly be a celebration.

Have any great tips? Please share.

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You Are What You Leave Behind

October 25, 2011 By 11 Comments

Have you ever thought about how you might be remembered? I sometimes wonder if I will be remembered!

Recently I attended a memorial service for a dear friend. As always, there’s a sadness at a memorial service, despite the full church, the beautiful tributes, the outstanding reception…all things he would have loved. All were a tribute to him, only he wasn’t physically there. Yet I could see that his legacy of openness, warmth and his welcoming spirit were very much there, reflected in his family. He left behind a beautiful, loving family and a legacy of trust, generosity and kindness, which were part of what he was.

What struck me once again is how important family is, how fragile life is, and how strong love is.

It brought home many thoughts about life in general and left me wondering who would remember me. And were I to be remembered, what about me would they remember? What we leave behind is something most of us don’t like to think about, me included, but it’s not too late to do something about we want to leave behind. It’s important and has an impact on how we live our lives today.

As I looked around, I thought, “Look at what he left behind.” In the recesses of my mind I remembered a quote I had once read…I believe it was by the famous psychologist, Eric Ericson, that said, “You are what you leave behind.”

I’m sure you all have lost someone you loved or cared about at some time in your life. No doubt their passing left a vacant spot in your heart, a spot that now can only be filled with memories.

Although they’re no longer physically available, interesting things can happen with memories. If you extract the lessons learned from that person through your memories you will find gifts that are yours for the taking.

I’ll give you a couple of examples:

Photo of young woman

Mom in 1930

My Mom would have been 100 years old this month. Mothers are our first teachers. They help form our personalities and the way we are to a great extent. In the end, she left behind who she was…the mother of five children, many grandchildren and great-grandchildren…all the results of the 92 years of her life. Her legacy? A sense of fun and a great sense of humor. All five of us took that as our special gift.

My Best Friend for many years. I still think about her every time I go to one of the many neighborhoods where we lived in San Francisco as young, single 20-year olds. I don’t think I ever heard her criticize anyone in all the time I knew her. I always smile when I think of her and her down-to-earth way of seeing the best in people. I’m still working on that and sometimes ask myself, “Now what would she have done?”

I invite you to think about three persons you have lost, what your memories are about that person, and write down what gifts they left behind for you? When I did this, I felt a sense of gratitude and wondered what I would leave behind for my sons and grandchildren. What kind of an example or impact will I have in their lives? What lessons and gifts will I leave behind?

Usually we’re not aware of the impact we have on others, whether it’s positive or negative. The great news is that with understanding that who you are is what you leave behind, there’s time to make sure that what you leave behind is a rich legacy filled with love.

Sociologist Anthony Campolo tells about a study in which 50 people over the age of 95 were asked one question:  “If you could live your life over again, what would you do differently?”  Three things consistently emerged:
• Reflect more
• Risk more
• Do more things that would live on after I am dead.

If you want to create an intentional legacy, you need to rethink your priorities.”

And we can start today!

 

 

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A Call to Fearlessness: Discover Your Leadership Voice..

October 5, 2011 By Leave a Comment

I haven’t forgotten you. I think about you more often than you would believe.

I’ve been working on a very special event that will take place in Oakland, CA on October 22, 2011. We will host Margaret Wheatley, author, speaker, thinker, in an exciting one-day event. Joining us will be community leaders, human resource managers and coaches…maybe you?

photo of Margaret Wheatley

Margaret Wheatley

In preparation for what to expect from this dynamic speaker, I picked up two of Margaret (Meg) Wheatley’s books, Walk Out Walk On, co-authored by Deborah Frieze, and Perseverance.

Walk Out Walk On takes us on a journey with people who have decided to walk out of one way of living and walk on to a life with a greater purpose. Perseverance is one of those small books you can dip in and out of when you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed. I find it to be a positive way to start the day with an inspirational or fresh insight before life gets in the way of all I have planned for the day..

Meg has written six books, including Leadership and the New Science. This last book was on loan to me by a friend who told me it was required reading during her doctoral program. As I read the book, I came to understand why it was required reading. Her views and examples of leadership in communities shows her as one of the most paradigm-changing, thought-provoking leaders of our time.

Picture of McAfee singing

Barbara McAfee

Barbara McAfee, who will accompany Meg, is an organizational singer, musician and voice coach. She contributes an element of fun and high energy as she brings home Meg’s messages through song and voice. She was recently  interviewed about what she does on a webcast. In a highly interactive call, she gave us “voice lessons” as she demonstrates the different voices people can use to communicate more effectively.

After hearing her on the call, I can understand why she also is in great demand at conventions and other large events.

To request a link to her free webcast, go here and scroll down to about the middle of the page to the “request a link” button. To learn more about the event, go to this link which will take you to the details. On the website, you can explore the opportunities available for the event.

If you can’t attend in person, a simulcast you can watch in the comfort of your own home is available that day and for four weeks following the event.

Will you be there? If you are, make sure you tap me on the shoulder and let me know you’re Sixty and Sensational!

Use this special code and receive a 10% discount: SIXTYTEN

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Bored? 5 Ways To Leave The Bored Room

June 5, 2011 By Leave a Comment

When life becomes boring, what do you do? When a job or task becomes boring, what do you do?

Boredom, and its close cousin, comfort, can be debilitating.

Where does boredom come from?

Many places. Lack of sleep, lack of goals, and absence of challenges, loneliness, maybe even a poor diet! I believe that the absence of challenges in your life will quickly turn into boredom, loneliness and low energy. It can also take on the mantle of depression.

We spend a lot of energy trying to get to a “comfortable” place. What drives us is the search for comfort is part of the human condition. We work all our lives to get there. When we feel successful at overcoming obstacles to get to a level of comfort, we forget that it’s the search that keeps the juices flowing whether we succeed or fail.

I’m not talking about physical comfort, such as climbing into your own bed after a hard day. What I’m addressing here is that boredom that leaves you saying, “Is that all there is?” or that feeling of “I hate what I’m doing,” or “I don’t have the energy to do this.” It’s that listlessness that we see in teens when their chief occupation is watching TV or texting. There is no real connection to another except for the electronic relationship. Personal connection with others is so very important in keeping boredom at bay.

The cocoon

It’s easy to settle into a cozy cocoon and stay there. I find myself slipping into that spot quite often. It’s nice. It feels good. If I stay in there too long I find myself gaining weight, looking awful and not moving very much. The parts of my body that are already going south take a fast trip to the bottom. To quote Alan Caruba, who once created a media spoof called The Boring Institute,  “Boredom is your mind demanding to be “fed”, “stimulated”, fulfilled in the same way the body must be fed and for the same reason we explore different foods as opposed to eating the same thing every day.”

So if you’re bored or your life has become boring, here are some suggestions based on what has helped me, of course.

What to do

  • Create a master list of all the things you want to do to and tackle them one at a time. Idle time is greatly overrated.
  • Start something new. Have you wanted to learn a foreign language, or learn pottery, or do some other craft?
  • Join a group where people have similar interests to yours, such as book groups, writers groups, artists gatherings, etc. Take a leadership role or become truly eng
  • If you have those boxes of pictures you haven’t opened for years, start with one box and start getting rid of duplicates, people you no longer remember, and divide them up to send to friends or relatives who might want them. Another option is to have them scanned into CD’s for easier storage.
  • Use your creative juices to turn a favorite, not so healthy recipe, into a healthy one.

The most important thing about all of this is to put your own self into it. If I’m doing something because I think it will please people, I do what I think they want and I’m left out of the loop. But that’s another article, and one I’m qualified to write because I’m a people-pleaser in recovery.

Till next time…be sensational!

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Happy Mother’s Day

May 7, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Mother’s Day Thoughts…

Picture of pink carnation

Carnation - Official Mother's Day Flower

Mother’s Day had many false starts. In the U. S., Mother’s Day originally started after the Civil War by several women’s peace groups. The idea was to set aside a day to honor relationships in the family. The final declaration to make it a national day of honor, however, was by Anna Marie Jarvis, following the death of her mother Ann Jarvis on May 9, 1905.

As is true with many holidays, religious or otherwise, commerce immediately steps into the profit mode with sales of flowers ,candy, special brunches, and countless gifts. While I’m certainly not averse to (and absolutely welcome) receiving such gifts, the truth is that for me, the true Mother’s Day gift is time with family, even if it’s simply a phone call. It’s knowing that you’re cared about that is so uplifting.

One of my biggest pleasures in life was to surprise my mom with something special on Mother’s Day. She’s no longer around and I miss the idea of knowing her delight in any loving gesture or gift she received. The next best thing is to remember her by contacting my siblings, wish wives and sisters a happy Mother’s Day, and revisit memories of mom and laugh a lot as we remember her wicked sense of humor.

To put things in perspective, it’s the giver who benefits the most from giving. How often have any of us said, just as my mom did, “You shouldn’t have!” while the giver enjoys the feeling of, “Yes, I should have and I’m so happy I did it.”

I know that for women over 60, few of us have a mother who is living. Those of us who have children living close by will no doubt spend time with them. Whatever you do or whoever you’re with, on Sunday, I wish you a very happy day whether you celebrate with your children, your family, or your friends. If you find yourselves alone, find a few carnations and take them to a nursing home or to someone you know is lonely. Everyone either was or had a mother and it’s a beautiful day to acknowledge the gift of life.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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The Day I Gave Myself A Shower

April 19, 2011 By 6 Comments

Clearing some of my clutter last week included getting rid of some long-buried stuff I haven’t used in years. Among them was a set of placemats that I bought a long time ago. Maybe I’ve hung on to them because of the memories of the day I gave myself a shower.

It was a sunny day in April, my sons were doing their chores in the garden and I was puttering in the kitchen looking at how bad some of my utensils looked. It got me to thinking that although I’ve attended many kitchen showers for brides-to-be, I had never been given one. So I decided that I would give one for myself.

A beautiful new kitchen and bath shop had just opened in town and I had noticed the beautiful colors and arrangements of placemats, kitchen gadgets, towels and cooking utensils. Eager to explore this new business, I took myself shopping.

I picked out many of the shiny new objects, (including the now-worn placemats), some beautiful cloth napkins and various other goodies. The owner was so sweet. She laughed when I told her I was holding a kitchen shower for myself and decided to join in the fun. So she wrapped each item individually, using different colored ribbons for each package. I left with my shopping bags, picked up a cake and ice cream and headed for home.

Later that afternoon I invited my three sons and my husband into the family room, saying I was holding a shower that afternoon. They looked at me, and each other, believing I had completely lost my mind when I told them it was a shower for ME. Given that cake and ice-cream were part of the shower, however, they decided to indulge me in my craziness.

Photo of kitchen utensils

New Kitchen Shower Gifts

So amidst cake and ice cream, which they loved, I opened each gift and acted surprised and delighted with each package I opened. They laughed and laughed as I showed great excitement over each new treasure for my kitchen. As they left, I heard one of them remark, “I think our mom is nuts.”  But they were still laughing at my silliness.

Often we wait for others to make us happy or wait to be showered with gifts only to wait for a long, long time for something that may never happen.

Showers are a wonderful way to have fun while giving, even if it’s for yourself. Also, there’s no law that says you can’t give a shower for yourself.

Is there a gift you can give yourself today?  It could be something delightful as a new nightgown, new lingerie, or a bouquet of fresh flowers. You could also treat yourself and sign up for the new Sensational You Beauty Course.

Or maybe there’s a gift you can give to someone for no reason other than to make their day. Even a shower of compliments in gratitude for things you appreciate in your friends and family is a nice celebration

It’s April! There’s no better time than now to have an April Shower.

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Do You Keep or Break Your Promises?

October 5, 2010 By 3 Comments

Which Promises do you consistently break? I’ll bet they’re the promises you make to yourself.

Isn’t a promise a kind of binding contract you make with others or with yourself? Why do we make promises so sincerely and forget about them so easily?

When my sons were little we talked about keeping the promises we made. In our world the word “promise” was sacred and promises were not to be made lightly.

I’m embarrassed to admit that one day I violated this sacred word with one of my sons, in a way that was rather shameful.

Here’s what happened.

Around lunchtime, one of my sons asked me if it was time to go to Taco Bell. I was very busy and had forgotten that we had talked about going to Taco Bell for lunch on Saturday when we’d be the only ones home.

I responded that after I got through with something I was doing, we’d go.

The poor kid waited and offered to help in a way that only a six-year old can help. When we were finished, he said, “Now can we go to Taco Bell?”

I responded with, “I’m too busy today. We’ll go another time.”

He said, “But you promised.”

“No. I didn’t promise, I just SAID we might go.”

His eyes filled with tears as he responded accusingly, “You said we would go…and  NOW…(dramatic pause)…you’ve broken your SAID.”

Needless to say, we went to Taco Bell. I didn’t want to be accused of breaking a “said.” Besides, I was completely out of integrity.

It’s so easy to break a “said.” An example is when we say, “I’ll call you,” and we never do. Or I’m going to the gym every day…and after one session, the gym is forgotten or dreaded. Then there’s the promise to do something special for yourself that you never do.

Like magical bubbles, thoughts about change float into that part of us called “good intentions.” So off we go, making promises to ourselves and to others because we really do intend to keep those promises.

For example, did you promise yourself that you would:

  • Lead a healthier lifestyle?
  • Mend a broken relationship?
  • Change jobs?
  • Write that marketing plan?
  • Clean that closet?
  • Treat yourself to a day of pampering including a massage?

Usually when we make promises to ourselves it’s because something is bothering us and we want (vow) to change it. This could take the form of those last 10 pounds we’ve vowed to lose, the messy desk we vowed to clean, the person we met last week and said we’d contact.

Much of this is because of the overwhelm we find ourselves roped into in this fast-changing, fast-paced world.

So, what “should” could you let go of today? What habit can you change today that will free you up to lessen the overwhelm? What promise have you made to yourself that your really want to keep?

Too often we over-promise and under-deliver. Would you treat a valued client or person you love like that? Remember the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would do unto yourself?”

Here’s a new rule for you: “Do unto yourself as you would do unto others”.

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You’re Beautiful (Part 2)

July 13, 2010 By 2 Comments

Ageless Beauty (Part 2)

Are we ever too young to want to feel beautiful?

In my last article, I talked about older women still wanting to feel beautiful. Young girls also need that self-assurance to feel beautiful and will go to great lengths to get that feeling. As an example, I’ll tell you about my early experiment with beauty.

When I was twelve years old, my skin began to break out in the pre-teen stage that many girls and boys go through. Then one day I happened upon an article, in one of my Mom’s magazines, about how a mudpack can clear your skin and, of course, the result would be that you would look fabulous.

Well, I can tell you that I believed it and that they lied!

As a scrawny little girl with impossibly straight hair and skin that was not looking wonderful, I decided that a mud pack was exactly what I needed for a complete transformation. I couldn’t wait to get to a place where I could try this miracle.

Then the opportunity came for me to spend some time at a farm where there was a brook I loved to wade in. Since no one was around, I sat on the bank and slathered my face with mud, knowing that instant beauty was just a few minutes away. There was, however, one problem. Horses had been there before I got there. That mask came off in a hurry! To add insult to injury, I broke out in a mysterious rash that I couldn’t explain to anyone.

I think about the young girls who dress in weird (to me) outfits, have outrageously dyed hair in all kinds of strange styles and kind of envy their rebellious freedom to want to be different and have their own style. Underneath those tough and strange exteriors, however, I see girls who want to be noticed and to feel important. Sometimes I get the feeling that because they don’t feel beautiful, they rebel against anything that could come close to looking like themselves. Instead, they want to look “different” just like all their friends. I wonder what would change if they felt acknowledged, beautiful and self-confident.

As older women, we can understand the importance of feeling beautiful and it’s our privilege to be able to recognize the importance of telling  young girls and even babies how wonderful and beautiful they truly are. At our age we can appreciate the struggle of the young as they strive to make their mark in the world. When children are appreciated and feel beautiful, their self-esteem rises and they can be just themselves. At least that’s what I’ve observed.

Let’s make a pact today to acknowledge the creativity and beauty of our younger daughters, granddaughters, and teens. And while you’re at it, remember that you too are a wondrous, beautiful miracle of life.

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